6 Reasons Why Building Self-esteem Can Be Unhelpful

Everywhere around us it seems, the world is calling us to focus on building self-esteem: if you can gain a positive self-image, then everything else in life will fall into place. The problem is that we tend to use the mirrors of the world around us, which can give a distorted and elusive image.

The Bible has a lot to say about building self-esteem, and how focusing on ‘self’ is unhelpful, as ultimately, our identity is found in who we are, as people created by God and made in his image.

When we orient our evaluation of ourselves in line with the mirror of God’s Word, it can make a huge difference to this “problem of self-esteem.”

6 Reasons Why Building Self-Esteem Can Be Unhelpful

Here are six reasons why building self-esteem can be unhelpful:

A distorted picture of myself

When we look within ourselves in building self-esteem, we gain a distorted picture. God gives us a true picture of ourselves as created with the humble dignity of being in the image of God, but also truly guilty and shameful in our rebellion against God. As Christians, we have been redeemed to a position of dignity and honor in Christ.

A fluctuating view of myself

Building self-esteem on how we view ourselves leads to a fluctuating self-image, based on circumstances and situations. If, for example, we earn a good salary and build our self-esteem on that in some way but then this is diminished for some reason, this will cause our self-image to falter. Gaining our identity from what God says about us gives us a more stable view of ourselves.

Dependent on comparison and performance

When we use the world’s mirrors to gain an evaluation of ourselves, we will naturally use our performance or how we fare as compared to others as a guiding principle. This means that our confidence will fluctuate as above, and, even if we ‘feel better’ compared to others, this pride will not give the peace that comes with using God’s declaration of our performance as the measure of how we stack up.

An overall feeling of insecurity

This fluctuating view, dependent on circumstances or the perception of how others around us compare, leaves us with an overall feeling of insecurity. God tells us that we can be secure in who we are as His children, but if we are building self-esteem with the world’s mirrors, we will always be left feeling worried and without peace and assurance.

People are either needed or seen as a threat

The downside of formulating our own sense of identity is that we will view people around us (usually our friends or family members!) as either something needed to fuel our self-esteem (an employee who relies on positive affirmation from their boss or colleagues to feel secure as a worker) or as a threat, as we perceive them to be faring better and showing us up (an employee who resents a colleague who maintains a higher level of performance).

Life revolves around me

In building self-esteem, we find that our life revolves around us, our importance, and our glory, whereas if we submit our identity to God’s Word, we can focus on God and all that He has done and continues to do.

As Christians, we need to move from building self-esteem in our own strength and rest rather in our secure identity in Christ. If we are struggling with self-worth, this will make all the difference, freeing us up to enjoy the truth of who we are as God’s precious children.