Why Do People Get Angry?

We often enough hear about or come across anger. Whether it’s a preschooler having a tantrum at the grocery store, a road rage incident that goes viral online, a domestic altercation that causes the police to be called out, or a punch-up during a sporting event, anger seems to be a part of the fabric of our everyday lives. And it’s not as though there’s a shortage of things in the world that can elicit this powerful emotion and cause people to get angry.

Between crimes such as child trafficking, ongoing human slavery, corrupt individuals who get away scot-free, environmental degradation, and man’s general inhumanity to man, there is much in the world to get legitimately angry about. But what is anger? Why is it part of our makeup as human beings, and what are the uses and pitfalls of anger in our lives and hearts?

Made to Reflect God

As human beings, we are made in God’s image. Genesis 1:27 tells us that human beings were made “in the image of God.” This means a lot of different things, but one aspect of being made in the image of God is that we reflect something of the nature of God.

We are deeply relational and social beings, and this is because God, who is Father, Son, and Holy Spirit is in eternal relationship and community. It’s no wonder that God said “it is not good for the man to be alone” because the man by himself could not fully reflect what God is like.

It is the same with our emotions. We reason, we love, and we feel many other emotions, such as anger. God also gets angry at wickedness, rebellion, and anything that takes away from the fullness of life and flourishing that God intends for creation. It is at this point that we must be cautious. Though created in God’s image, we now live in the post-Genesis 3 world of the Fall into sin.

That act of disobedience by Adam and Eve, our parents, had far-reaching consequences for us all. We don’t reason, love, and feel as we ought to anymore. So, while we need to acknowledge our own emotions and pay attention to what they are telling us, we also need to interrogate them a little.

One reminder, encouragement, and challenge to us comes from James: “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for human anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires,” (James 1:19-20).

Part of the problem is that we are sometimes led by anger and other emotions into doing things we should not. At times, our anger is aroused by certain things and not by others – we might get angrier at our pizza being delivered a few minutes late than we do when we hear about children being kidnapped and trafficked.

Anger often clouds our judgment. We meet Jonah, for example, God’s prophet who was angry with the evil people of Nineveh for repenting and seeking God, and at God for not destroying them. And God asks his prophet this probing question: “Is it right for you to be angry about this?” (Jonah 4:4).

The Physiology of Anger

Anger is our natural response to a threat, real or perceived. When we feel that we or our loved ones are threatened, our bodies are designed to protect themselves, and we do this through our “fight-or-flight” response. When a dangerous situation arises, adrenalin is released into the bloodstream, and this causes the heart rate and blood pressure to rise, muscles to tighten, and the sense of awareness to increase.

This readies the body to respond to the dangerous situation. This “fight-or-flight” response is meant to work in the short term. If the response continues for extended periods, whether it’s by holding anger in for extended periods, turning it inward, or exploding in a rage, it can do damage to our bodies.

And so, it is no surprise that having anger issues can have long-term side effects for your health such as high blood pressure, increased risk of heart attacks, increasing your risk of stroke, and weakening your immune system.

Reasons People Get Angry

There are many reasons why people get angry. Some of those reasons are centered on the people themselves, those they love, or the causes they care about. Anger can be aroused because of:

Feeling unheard.

Each of us has a voice, and we want to be given space to express it. Whether it is in a relationship, at work, or with an authority figure such as a parent or law enforcement, when we don’t feel heard it makes us feel diminished, and like we’re being denied our basic humanity and the dignity that should have been accorded us.

Feeling unappreciated.

Hand in hand with the above, when we don’t feel appreciated, like when we go the extra mile for someone and it doesn’t get acknowledged, that can raise our ire. When we feel like we’re being taken for granted, it can breed anger and resentment.

Events or situations.

This is a broad category, but situations where we or the people we care about experience injustice, deception, are put under threat, or experience fear can make us angry. The things that threaten, in one way or another, what we care about, often will get a response of anger.

If someone frightens a child, for instance, their parent’s sense of concern for their child’s wellbeing and the threat toward them will usually be met with anger. If a relationship is threatened by infidelity, one possible emotional response is anger.

Memories of trauma.

When you go through something traumatic, such as being mugged or being assaulted, sometimes it feels better and is easier to feel angry than it does to be in pain or feel afraid. Anger thus forms part of a defense mechanism to protect ourselves from pain and fear.

Feeling frustrated.

When we are frustrated by a situation, such as a child with a constantly messy room, or a spouse that doesn’t keep their word, that can turn into anger quite easily. Or if you’re on your way to work and someone cuts in front of you in traffic, that can frustrate you and lead to anger.

Being treated unfairly.

If we don’t get what we think we deserve, or we get what we feel we don’t deserve, we can become angry. Not getting a promotion or the raise we worked hard for, being blamed for something that is someone else’s fault, or being treated differently from how other people are treated in similar situations are scenarios of unfair treatment that can spark anger in us.

There are many possible reasons and situations in which we can become angry. That means we can be angry all the time but living that way would be detrimental to our health and that of the people around us. Whatever your reason for getting angry, you must deal with it constructively.

Dealing with Anger Appropriately

Keeping anger in or letting it out in a physical or verbal rage is destructive and can seriously undermine our health and relationships. Anger needs to be dealt with constructively. This can be done by speaking up directly to the person you are angry with and dealing with the frustration in a problem-solving manner. You can also deal with anger in these ways:

Take a breather.

Taking a time out before responding to a situation gives you room to calm down and gain valuable perspective. You don’t always have to respond right away. Also, giving yourself time to think through things helps you see if there are any assumptions you may have made about the situation or the other person’s motives, or to come up with practical solutions to the problem.

Relax.

Having tools such as meditation, progressive muscle relaxation or soothing music that can calm you is valuable. Incorporate these into your daily routines so that you have a rhythm of rest and relaxation to relieve the stress and tension that inevitably builds throughout each day. Think of it like a safety valve that you use to let off steam before it builds up.

Work it out.

Getting in good exercise, whether it’s swimming, rowing, running, playing a game of pick-up basketball, walking, or cycling makes a dramatic difference in stress relief and getting feel-good hormones into your system.

Anger is a powerful emotion, which can be harnessed to accomplish a lot. It can also be destructive if we don’t manage it well. God did not intend for our lives to be dominated by anger.

So, if you find that your anger is damaging your relationships and is a problem in your life, don’t hesitate to find help from a professional such as a counselor or therapist. They can help you by investigating the underlying causes of your anger, developing coping and problem-solving skills, and taking steps to repair broken relationships.