How to Prevent Bullying: Signs to Watch For

The experience of bullying is a common one, but that doesn’t make it less painful. This behavior takes different forms, but the common denominators include one person who has a (perceived) higher status or more social power and one person who is more vulnerable for any number of reasons.

The bully tries to intimidate their victim into feeling small, weak, and helpless and takes advantage of them in some way.

There is no easy answer to deal with bullying. The best way to stop it is to prevent it before it begins. If you are an adult trying to know how to help a child who is being bullied, or you’re experiencing some form of bullying yourself, Christian counseling can help you know how to respond.

What is bullying?

The dictionary defines the verb bully as “seek[ing] to harm, intimidate, or coerce (someone perceived as vulnerable).” The American Psychological Association describes bullying as aggressive behavior fueled by the intentional aim to hurt someone or make them uncomfortable.

Bullying is not always physical; it can also be verbal, emotional, and/or psychological. The person being bullied is not the cause of the bullying, and they often struggle to know how to defend themselves without making the situation worse.

Two things matter when it comes to bullying: the intent, which is to have power over someone else; and the impact, which is the emotional and/or physical harm experienced by the victim of bullying.

Common signs

StopBullying.gov lists many signs that someone is a victim of bullying, including:

• Lowered self-esteem.
• School avoidance or grades getting worse.
• Change in appetite or eating habits.
• Injuries
• Lost items.
• New physical symptoms like headaches or stomachaches.
• Change in sleeping habits.
• Nightmares.
• Social isolation.

If your child or another young person you know is showing more than one of these signs, there are numerous possible causes, but it’s worth considering whether bullying may be one of them. Only 20% of bullying is ever reported, so your child might not say anything to you, even if they are in serious distress.

Being the victim of bullying is often accompanied by a sense of shame, which can encourage the victim to stay silent and not ask for help. The belief that asking for help will only make things worse is another factor that can keep a victim from reporting it.

Here are several signs that someone is being a bully:

• Lack of personal responsibility.
• Aggressive behavior.
• Reports of fighting.
• Spends time with others who engage in the same behavior.
• Has trouble at school (gets sent to the principal’s office, detention, etc.)
• Focused on competition, appearance, and popularity to an unhealthy degree.

A child or teen who is bullying others needs help to stop these behaviors. Early intervention is key. The earlier this behavior is identified and stopped, the less harm will be done to current or future victims, and the greater the chance the aggressive behavior can be changed.

How to prevent bullying

According to Very well Family, bullies are less likely to target people who have high self-esteem, a strong social support system, assertiveness skills, carry themselves with confidence, and avoid places where bullies tend to hang out.

Of course, it takes time for a child to develop these skills. As parents, the best way we can help our children avoid being a target is to foster a healthy sense of self-esteem. If they have already been targeted, remind them that it’s not their fault and that they don’t deserve to be bullied. Victims of bullying do not cause themselves to be bullied.

How do you stop bullying once it starts? You must stay in touch with school administration and teachers, even if your child is reluctant to have you involved. Make sure they have the opportunity for counseling if they’re comfortable. Also, encourage social opportunities and friendships outside of school. Make sure your child has other safe spaces they can go to besides home and school.

Your child doesn’t have to deal with this alone. If you need support and solutions for how to prevent bullying, reach out to schedule a session with a professional Christian counselor at Glendale Christian Counseling today.